PPC: The Files of Sally and Cille
by Aiwendil X
Summary: The Protectors of the Plot Continuum fight hard to rid the world of the terror that are Mary Sues. Here are stories of the two Agent from the X-Men: Evolution continuum, Department of Mary Sues. Rating may be higher. Contains cursing and violence.
1. First Mission

Cleaning up in X-Men Evolution; The Never Ending Story

By Aiwendil Greenleaf and Sally Fakry

Disclaimer: As mentioned before, everything related to PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia, and X-men: Evolution belongs 

to Marvel. This chapters horror story, The Brotherhood Grows Stronger, belongs to LanceAlver'sGirl, which is good 

'cause we don't wanna touch it with a very long pole. 

Rating: PG-13. There's a little (a lot) of cursing, violence and gore. No more then kids watch on TV these days.

Aiwendil's A/N: Welcome dear readers. Today we're gonna be killing Sues. One Sue to be precise. Anyway, Agent  Cille 

gets assigned to a new partner, and wonder why X-men: Evolution is categorized as a safe continuum to send new 

assassins/agents into.

Sally's A/N: Hello people. I've personally never written fanfiction before, but luckily I have Cille (Aiwendil) to help me 

out. I think it's fun, and PPC is a wonderful series. Hail Acacia and Jay!!  

***

_Do you have any idea how serious this situation is?_

The girl stubbornly kept her chin up, clutching the brown paper bag in her hand, "It's very easy to mistake Tabitha for a Mary Sue. She's annoying, stupid, has a dark past, and she makes Kurt act totally out of character."

_You killed a canon character, we can't just let that go unnoticed_

Sighing, the girl lowered her head, "What's my punishment?"

The Sunflower Official seemed to consider, _For one, you're not going to be working with Agent Black anymore._

"But..."

_Not but. We'll keep you in the Mary Sue Department, but you will be working with one of the new agents. I'm sure Marquis de Sod can find a fitting one_

The Agent nodded shortly and turned on her heels.

***

The most irritated girl nodded at the daisy plant in front of her, and exited the room, brown bag still in her right hand. She walked sternly down the hallways of PPC headquarters, making all agents move hastily out of her way. She stopped for a second outside her old office, but didn't enter. Her things had been packed, and was placed outside the door. Her old partner must've done the honours. Well, no point in being all sentimental. With a huff, she picked up her bag and continued walking, swinging by Makes-Things to pick up an extra CAD for her new partner. The new kids always forgot stuff like that. She reached the door to her new office, and checked the shiny new silver sign. Agents Sally Antoine and Cille Holm, X-Men: Evolution Continuum, Department of Mary Sues. Suddenly uncharacteristically nervous, she knocked hard on the door and entered.

A young girl, about 17 years, old jumped up from her chair smiling broadly, "Hi, I'm Sally. Are you my partner??" A pair of enthusiastic brown eyes shone up at her. Our previously mentioned girl made a mental note, never to wear orange with pink, while looking at the kids clothing.

The most aggravated girl checked the papers she was holding, and nodded, "Yeah. I'm Cille." She scanned the paper again. 'Sally' had just been hired, of course. Apart from being extremely short, Lebanese, (and for some reason the paper informed that she was fond of kebab), Sally was a... "Todd Tolensky luster?!?"

Sally looked wounded, "Yes I am, thank you very much. And for your information, I happen to like Lance very much too. And Pietro."

Cille, the depressed, aggravated and irritated girl shook her head sadly, "Come on, I'll show you the stuff." She calmly walked over to the consol, Sally bouncing after her. "This beep when we get a story. The Words and any relevant messages are shown here. There are only one bottom you need to worry about for now," she pointed at the red one, "That's the one for acknowledge job."

"Why won't you tell me the rest?" Sally asked.

Cille paused, "I'm not in the mood. Here's the disguise generator. Canon in X-Men: Evolution easily allows us to be 'new students', since they show up all the time. Now for this fandom, we get to choose the powers of one canon mutant, and that's our weapon. The powers only work in the continuum. Any questions?"

"What's your lust-object?"

A weird look, "Kurt Wagner. But that's not important."

Sally looked back at the screen. Cille had tapped some bottoms making it show a list of all the mutants whose powers they could choose, "I bet you always go as Nightcrawler."

"Not always. Shadowcat is practical for running away and hiding. Quicksilver is also good. I wouldn't pick Xavier though, his powers are way to great for any of us to handle. Most likely you'll end up on the floor screaming and clutching your skull. And that's not very useful."

"Why were you assigned to be my partner??" Sally asked bluntly, "I know you didn't ask for it."

Cille sighed, "I went against the rules." 'And this is my punishment' she mentally added.

"What did you do?"

The older girl wordlessly reached into the brown bag she was still holding, and pulled out the head of one Tabitha Smith, throwing it at her new partner. Sally screamed, dropping the head. "Blood rush," Cille explained, "And basically she's no better then a Mary Sue. Making Kurt act so out of character."

Sally backed away from the off-chopped head, nodding, "Aha. You sure do love Kurt, eh?"

"Yes." And fond glint appeared in Cille's eyes. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. This is you CAD." She pulled out the devise, handing it to Sally. "We use it to see how out of character the canon characters are."

"I know," Sally smiled, picking up a very heavy book from her desk, "I'm reading the guidebook."

"Loser."

"What did you say??"

Cille smiled sweetly, "Nothing." 

**[Beep]**

"Welcoming distraction," she muttered, gesturing for Sally to follow her to the consol, "Watch and learn." She scanned the Words, smiling slightly, "this one you get to kill."

Sally looked frightened all the sudden, "I do??"

"If you love Todd as much as you claim, you're gonna want to. She kills his character totally. It's a rather short one for now, so it shouldn't take more then a few hours."

"This is a Brotherhood fic, how are we gonna disguise?" Sally asked, pointing at the screen.

Cille shrugged, "New people also join the Brotherhood all the time in fiction, they aren't gonna be aware of us. Poor Canon. Only the Sue can see us for what we are, and this one is to busy drooling over Lance to ever notice we're there."  

"Oh," Sally intelligently responded.

"So, what do you wanna be??" Cille didn't take her eyes off the consol, where she was picking Nightcrawler.

The younger girl shrugged, "How about Wolverine?? If I'm gonna be doing the killing and all."

"Nice choice," Cille applauded, and hit a few bottoms. A portal appeared, and the older teen picked up her bag, "I'll bring the important stuff. So do you have everything you need??" 

"CAD and bravery," Sally confirmed.

"You forgot stupidity."

"I'll borrow some of yours, you might wanna share it anyway," the Lebanese girl said smugly.

Cille growled, "Lets go." Sally wordlessly followed her into the story.

***

The two agents arrived at the beginning of the story, just as Sue entered the scene with Mystique. Which ironically enough was in the first scene, first line.

As Mystique walked Heather Wilson into the Brotherhood's home Lance, Pietro, Toad, and Blob looked up to the beauty that bestowed upon there eyes. 

Sally jumped and let out a small yelp, as a hand grabbed her shoulder. A three-fingered, fuzzy, hand covered her mouth, and she was pulled into some convenient shadows, "Don't let the Sue see you." Sally nodded, then looked her partner over. Cille had turned blue and furry, pointed ears, only three fingers on each hand, two toes on each foot, and a tail was flicking about behind her. Other then that, the older agent seemed to blend perfectly into the shadows.

"Wow, you're Nightcrawler."

Cille rolled her now yellow eyes, "Don't twist your hands while close to me, please?" Sally backed away, starring worriedly at her hands, not moving them in case she suddenly made claws. Cille took out a notepad from her bag, and a pen with it. "How would you formulate the charge?" When Sally looked blank, she elaborated by repeating, "they looked up at the beauty that bestowed upon their eyes", in a high-pinched voice. 

Sally shrugged, and turned back to face the Brotherhood. She then stared for a few seconds, "How does one have black hair with dark streaks?? Isn't black the darkest colour? Canon had decided to give the Sue plain black hair. Cille had pulled out her Character Analyse Devise, and pointed it at the Original Character. She sighed, and showed it to Sally. [Heather Wilson. Female mutant. Brotherhood. Non Canon. Mary Sue]

The Words spent the following two and a half minute to describe what Sue looked like, while Cille scribbled away on her paper. Sally broke the silence, in which the Canon characters only stood staring at Sue, "Does one of the guys speak Chinese?"

Cille scowled at the Sue, "I don't think so, why?"

"Then how come they know that the Chinese tattoo on her shoulder means hope? And why can they see tattoos on her back, when she's facing them?"  

"Sue and logic is not connected in any way," Cille said simply. Then snorted when Sue was described as having a perfect figure, "Little miss perfect Sue need me to kick her ass. Sorry, need you to kick her ass."

_  
"Everyone, this is Heather, she will be joining the Brotherhood. I hope that now we will be able to actually beat the X-men." Mystique said as she inspected her house that had once actually looked nice. _

"52%," Cille muttered to herself, looking at the CAD, then writing on the list, "Character rupture."

"Is that when she's more the 50% out of character??"

"Yes." _  
  
Lance watched Heather and smiled to himself. He then knew that he liked her a lot. _

"I mean gee, he really knows her and all, how can he not fall instantly in love?" Sally joked, glaring at the Sue. "Stupid Sue. Read Lance's character."

Cille shook her head, "I'd rather wait, he gets worse."

_As Lance watched her, he remained silent so as not to say anything stupid. Mystique soon left the house disgusted by the condition of her house. "Heh…so what are your powers?" Pietro asked inquisitively once Mystique had left.   
  
_

"Prepare for the ultimate Sue-indicator," Cille warned, holding her notepad ready.

_  
Heather looked over at the boy with silver hair and responded, "I can stop time, control the elements and heal people if they are hurt." Heather responded with a sigh._

"Oh, it's so hard being so overly powerful," Sally said with a mocking sigh to match then one Sue made. 

"Having loads of different, non-related to each other, powers, check."_  
  
_

_"Oh cool so does that mean you can like make fire and ice and stuff like that?" Toad asked. _

Sally narrowed her eyes dangerously, but Cille held the small girl back. "She's making him stupid, we have to do something!!"

"When she breaks Canon."

"Which is when??"

"Tomorrow, she says Kitty is Lance's ex." Sally did a nice imitation of a questioning mark. "Please tell me where in the Evolution time-line we are?? Mystique, no Boom-Boom, thank GOD, no Wanda, a Pietro, and Kitty is Lance's ex??" 

"I don't know."

"There we go."

  
"Yeah…that is what controlling the elements is." Heather said as she picked up her bags and brought them to the room that was designated for her.  
  


"Snob," Sally commented, and smiled when she saw Cille scribbling on the list.

  
When Heather was gone Blob said sarcastically, "Well ain't she a bundle of sunshine?"   
  


"Out of character, 60.5 %," Sally read out loud from the CAD. "Like he knows how to be sarcastic."

  
"Hey Lance, why are you so quiet? Don't tell me you have the hots for her…Well if you did I guess I wouldn't blame you, she is a total hottie!" Toad said as he happily hopped around the room.   
  


Cille pointed the CAD at Toad, and looked sick, "God, I pity the toad." Sally nicked it from her partners hand, reading while muttering curses, [Todd Tolensky aka. Toad. Male Mutant. Canon, YEAH RIGHT!! OOC 91% CHARACTER RUPTURE]

"She is so gonna be claw-kebab, that stinky little ho."

Cille took the CAD back and pointed it at Lance now, just as he **blushed **from Todd's statement. "74%, she sure kills every character she sees." Lance got redder when people started laughing, and Cille crossed the number out, then wrote '82 %' instead. 

  
 "Um…I'm going outside for a little while." Lance managed to say as he walked out the door to get away from the others. He leaned up against the house and gazed at the stars that twinkled above him.

Sally was just about to follow Lance out, when a fuzzy hand grabbed her shoulder. "Why walk when you can..." BAMF!! Sally swayed, but Cille was looking extremely pleased with herself, "I love doing that," she said, staying in the shadows.

"Pretty," Sally said once she got her stomach under control, looking up at the stars.

A thumb when a body hit the ground.  
  


"Yeah, pretty," Cille snorted, and resisted the urge to kick the fallen Sue. "It's raining Sues."

Lance, being his Mary Sue infested self, helped Heather up. She made a Sue-ish scene out of thanking him, then asked what she was doing.

"What are **you** doing, Lance?" Cille hissed at the boy, then leaned back against the house, writing on her list. 

   
"I was trying to break out," She gave a slight smile, "I guess I misjudged the distance from my window to the ground huh?" Heather giggled.  
  


"I think she hit her head," Sally commented when Sue giggled. "And why the hell was she breaking out the window??"

Cille checked the Words, "It doesn't say. Maybe she was just bored." A beat. "She probably hit her head," the older agent agreed.

  
"Heh...I guess you could say that" Lance said as he helped her by pulling out a leaf that was caught in her hair. She smiled at this and Lance returned the smile with his signature-crooked smile.

"This is very interesting," Cille commented, as Lance's face was totally screwed around, his mouth now in the shape of his crooked signature. Sally just stared, then pointed wordlessly to the list. Cille wrote it down.  
  
"So I couldn't help notice on my way down how fast you were moving to get out of there." Heather stated.   
  


Sally blinked, looking up at the Words again, "She must be a really slow faller, I mean, he had time to lean against the house and all, and she saw him coming out on her way down?"

"Being a slow faller/being stupid, check."

"There are no limits for what you're gonna charge her for, is there?"

Cille glared at the Sue, bearing her teeth, "No. I'll charge her, you kill her." Lance and Heather was chatting away, both leaning against the house, but then precious Sue got cold. And her Mary Sue-twisted Lance in shinning amour suggested that they went inside again. "Bamf?" Sally politely said no to the offer and followed Lance and Sue on foot, while Cille 'bamfed'.

A little time passed as they all looked around the room for something to do.  
  


"This is boring."

The older agent nodded, looking at the blank faces around the room, "It'll be worse."

  
"What should we do?" Pietro asked to no one particular; he just wanted to see if anybody had any ideas.  
  


Cille checked her CAD, "The torture," she muttered, writing something down on the charge list, "Poor Quicksilver."

  
"Let's play a game!" Toad responded after a brief moment of silence. They all looked at him wondering why he wanted to do that.  
  


"The torture, indeed," Sally snorted, the paled as she looked up at the Words.

  
"Oh come on I know the perfect game too! Let's play hide and seek!" Toad said happily.  
  


The scream from Sally was just as loud as the one from the CAD (and that was on mute even). All Canon characters quickly turned around to find the source of the noise, but all there was left when they looked was a tiny blue cloud and a slight smell of brimstone. As soon as they seemed to forget about their doings, Cille teleported back, holding a furious Sally with both hands, "Do calm yourself."

Sally looked down at the CAD, "98%," she informed through clenched teeth, shrugging Cille's hands off her. 

  
"I suppose since there is nothing better to do but Toad, you will be 'it' first since it was your idea." Lance said.  
  


This time the CAD didn't say anything. Instead the reaction was rather peculiar, and Sally stared in amusement as the devise started smoking green smoke while shaking violently. When it suddenly grew extremely hot, Sally dropped it to the floor. Cille quickly kicked it to face in another direction the Canon characters, "Makes-Things is getting pissed about all the CAD's that blows up on my shifts."

  
"Okay." Toad said as he buried his head under the cushion of the couch and began to count to 50. Sally discreetly checked out his arse as he did so. Cille wrinkled her nose in distaste. She picked up the CAD from the floor, as all characters save Todd and Freddy left the room. She placed it in her pocket, and looked up at the words, "Oh lovely, prepare for shifting. We're going to Lance's Mary Sue-twisted mind.  
  
************Lance's Dream***********  
  
Sally looked around, "This looks the same."

"Well, it would. It's a Sue dream. That means snuggling in a closet," Cille informed her, pointing as Sue came running into the room, hiding in the closet.

Unbeknown to her, Lance was hidden in there too because it was his room and his closet. Luckily the closet was rather spacey and had enough room for both of them to hide there.   
  


"Idiot, hiding in other people's closets like that," Sally growled, but Cille knew that her new partner would pay a whole bunch to be in the closet with Lance, alone. They both leaned against the closet door to hear what Lance and Sue were up to. In short, Lance was being tacky, and Sue was being tackier. It was all very nauseating. 

That was when hell broke loose.   
  


"AAH!" Sally screamed in agony, falling to the floor and cowering her ears, "What's that!?"

"A song!!" Cille yelled loudly, trying to rise above the music. She looked up at the Words, "The whole thing is gonna play through!!" Sally whimpered, and shuddered violently. "This is nothing really," Cille screamed into her partners ear, "If we're in a song-fic, music plays in the background all the time. This is bad, but it will be over soon. Like pulling off a band-aid fast."

"This is not fast!!" Sally retorted, "I'm putting it on the charge list!!"

"Go ahead, I'm not stopping you," her partner yelled, handing the notepad over, "Write that I'm getting a headache too!!"  

"Will do!!"

The Music stopped and Sally smiled while leaning against the closet with Sue and Lance. But then her smile froze, and she looked quickly at the Words. "I hear moaning."

Cille nodded, "They're doing naughty stuff, alright. Luckily it's a dream." She sighed deeply, "And it ends..."

_***********End of Dream*************  
  
All of a sudden, the closet door flew open, and Toad looked in._

"...Now."_  
  
_

Sally tilted her head, looking at the Words, "All of **a **sudden??" Cille shrugged.

_  
"Hey Lance...hellooooo wake up!" Toad yelled as he shook Lance awake. _

"Wake up, darling, you're having a nightmare," Sally said sweetly, reaching over to pad the boy's shoulder. She made a whining protest as Cille grabbed her collar and started pulling her down the stairs. "What now?!"_  
  
_"This sucks," was the only answer._  
  
_

Sally stopped in the middle of the stair platform, hands on her hips, "What is it?"

Cille, who had gotten halfway down the stairs already, rolled her eyes and 'Bamf'ed back up to her partner, "Read the Words."

"I don't see your point," the Lebanese said crossly, smiling as Todd hopped past between them. 

"A 'later that night' situation. We have a few hours to kill," Cille declared before she teleported down into the living room, pulled out a well-worn copy of 'Mein Kampf' from her bag, and sat down on the brotherhood's couch.

"Are you German??" Sally asked confused, "Or have you taken your Nightcrawler-obsession to new heights?"

"The PPC library doesn't have English books," Cille responded, looking over the edge of the volume, "I speak German, and did before I knew of Kurt. Plus, this is very interesting reading."

Sally pondered on the opportunities for a few minutes, while the sound of Todd bouncing around the house (was the only sound in the house, "I speak French."

"Oh really."

"You don't seem very interested."

A short laugh, "I'm not."

Sally grabbed the book from her partners hands. Cille was just about to protest, when the Lebanese girl beat her to it, "Look, I'm sick and tired of you treating me like dirt! It was your own fault that you got kicked away from your old one, so stop taking it out on me. I'm not your new boxing-toy! All I wanna do, is become a good agent, and your not very helpful!!"

Cille sighed deeply, "Sorry," she muttered in a low voice. "But you'll have to win my respect."

"I know that," Sally responded, "That's why I'm gonna kill this Sue, good and proper."

Cille smiled, "We might get to be friends, once you learn how to be kick-ass."

"I am kick-ass," Sally answered, and went out the room to look for Todd.   

***

Clouds. Fluffy, white clouds, harmonic harp music, angels... 

"Wake up!!"

Blue fuzzy demon with yellow eyes glaring at her.

Sally sat upright so fast her eye temporarily darkened, "I'm awake."

Cille was looming over her (apparently she'd fallen asleep on the floor), tail swishing dangerously, "Lance isn't feeling good. The author fed him old Chinese food."

"Why?"

"To have Sue cuddle/mother/take care of him," the older agent responded. "Come on, it's charging time."    _  
  
_

The two agents could hear Lance's moans of pain from the moment they entered the hallway, "The bitch made him eat that," Sally said, shaking her head, "That ain't right."

"It's not," Cille agreed, "Come on." Before Sally could protest Cille had grabbed her wrist and 'Bamf', they went.

_  
"Hey Lance…are you feeling okay?" A concerned voice came from the hallway.   
  
_

"Tell her you're fine," Sally urged, but it was of no use.

_  
"Heather?" Lance asked as he concentrated his vision on the shadowed figure that stood in the doorway.  
  
_

Cille groaned as Lance reached for the lamp, and quickly pulled Sally behind the door with her, "We should dump her body in Magneto's old castle-lair."

"You just thought of that?"

Cille nodded, puffing up her chest, "Did so."

_  
"Yeah it's me…are you alright?" Heather asked as Lance put his lamp on to get a clearer view of her. Heather was not wearing any makeup and looked very nice. She wore baby blue short-shorts with names of boys on it surrounded by fluffy white clouds and a white almost sheer blouse that said 'I dream of Boys' on it.  
  
_

"The guy is having serious pain, and he takes the time to consider what she's wearing??"

Cille shrugged, "Clothes, hair and eyes are very big Sue elements."

_  
"No…not really, I ate some of that Chinese food in the fridge and well…I think that, that stuff is older then me." He said as her turned around, sat on his back, and stared at the ceiling.   
  
_

Canon shook gently, and Cille tsk'ed, "Sat on his back, yeah sure."

_  
Heather walked over to his side, sat down on a stool near his bed, and stroked his cheek.  
  
_

The older, slightly more mature, agent did a quick job of holding her partner back with her tail, "Not yet."

"She's stroking him!" Sally hissed, and Cille noted that claw extending was being made. 

"Watch those," she whispered. 

Sally looked down in awe at her newly produced metal claws, "Wow. It stains a little, but wow." Sally relaxed and Cille let her tail unleash the girl. The claws went back in.

 _  
"Well if you want I can help make you feel better by staying here and tending to your every need." She said with a comforting smile.  
  
_

Cille's tail got around Sally's waist just in time.

_  
"Um…okay I guess." Lance said as he felt his face begin to blush.  
  
_

"Here, write on the charge list, that always makes me feel better," the older agent tried calming her partner. Sally pulled the list to her with a snarl, scribbling away.

_  
"Good, it's settled then, well I'll be right back I am going to go to the pharmacy and buy you some medicine to take care of you okay? Try to get some rest while I am gone." Heather said.  
_ _  
"Okay." Lance answered and closed his eyes as Heather stroked his cheek one last time and got up and went to the pharmacy to buy him the medicine._

_  
_Heather left the room. Total silence. "Which pharmacy is open in the middle of the night?" Sally asked, one brow raised.

"Which pharmacy is medication against a stomach poisoning?"

"I don't know."_  
  
_

_She soon returned with the medicine and gently shook Lance awake so she could give him the medicine and he took it.  
  
_

"The drama, the angst, the lacking detail," Sally said gesturing wildly with her right hand.

Cille smirked, "You're getting annoyed. That's very good."

_  
"Thanks." He whispered as he soon began to feel a little bit better. _("Gotta get my hands on some of that magical drug", Sally commented.)_  
  
"Hey Heather…can you do me one more favor?" Lance asked shyly.  
  
_

"Teach me how to spell?" Sally suggested. 

Cille scanned the Words, paling slightly, knowing her new partner fairly well, "You're not gonna like it."

_  
"Um…sure what is it?" Heather asked as she directed her attention to him.  
  
"Can you stay here with me please?" He asked in a sweet voice nervously.   
  
_"Hey, I'm sure her back will hurt in the morning," Sally said dangerously, voice breaking, "From sleeping on **the floor and everything**!!"

But that was not the case. Sue was moving to put herself next to Lance, in Lance's bed. Right that second.

"OH, no you DON'T, Missy!!" Sally yelled, breaking free from Cille's grasp. 

Cille quickly followed her partner, "She hasn't broken..." Sally cut her off.

"She's broken it enough, having all those powers!" Sally fumed, glaring at Sue, who was staring at the pair with a weird look in her eye. Lance was just looking plainly confused.

"Who are you?" he asked uncertainly.

"Your saviours, Lance-baby," Sally answered briskly, pulling Sue away from the bed, "Agent Cille, please charge her!!"

Cille looked from her partner to Sue, then nodded picking up the list from the floor, "Heather Wilson. We charge you, on behalf of the PCC, for the following; Being cliché, being perfect, making Todd, Pietro, Freddy, Mystique and especially Lance act out of character, having way to many unrelated powers, being snotty, making Lance's smile into a signature, being a very slow faller, putting a very loud song in the middle of a story, thereby giving me a headache, making Lance blush all the time, pissing us off, almost getting inbed with Lance (raised brow and a glance at Sally) and finally for being a Mary Sue. We as the jury find you guilty of all charges, and sentence you to death."  

"By decapitation," Sally added, seizing a hold of Heather's black hair with dark streaks, pulling her head back and exposing her throat. One of her claws slid out slowly with a sickening sound.   

Cille smiled for a bit, while with one foot holding Lance in the bed so that he wouldn't go and do something stupid. "Any last non-sappy words?"

"I'll scream," Heather wept loudly.

Sally grinned, "Won't they all." A nice soft flick of her wrist, and Heather's body was less attached to it's head.

There was a few seconds where Lance was staring with eyes that were watering up. Then his face suddenly changed to disgusted and he rubbed his cheek violently where Sue had been stroking it. "Eeeeew."

"That's my Lance," Sally smiled. Her claw was pulled back, and she picked up Sue's body as Cille opened a portal to the abandoned castle thingy.   

"That was nice," Sally commented, dumping the Sues body and head in a hole, pushing a pile of bricks down on top of it. 

Cille nodded, padding Sally's shoulder, "You know what, kid? I think we could become a great team."

The young Lebanese smiled, "I hope."

Cille opened a portal, and gestured for Sally to go through it. Back in their office, she picked up Tabitha's head, "It's a pity this has to go to waste."

"You should hang it on the wall," Sally suggested. 

"Good idea," the older agent applauded, the asked completely off-topic," Do you think I should dye my hair red??"

"Why?"

"No reason, just for fun."

***

Cille A/N: That was fun. May the Sue rest in her watery grave forever, and ever and ever and ever. And a few years more.

Sally A/N: Well, let's just say that it was interesting being an assassin for the PPC. Very interesting. And I'll be doing more for sure._  
  
_

_  
_


	2. Second Mission

Cleaning up in X-Men Evolution; The Never Ending Story

By Aiwendil Greenleaf and Sally Fakry

Disclaimer: PPC and everything related belongs to Jay and Acacia, X-men: Evolution belongs 

to Marvel. Today's mission belongs to Blaque Midnyte, thank God.

Rating: PG-13. There's a little (a lot) of cursing, violence and gore. No more then kids watch on TV these days.

Aiwendil's A/N: Here we go again, we're out of out medicine, out of our minds, and we are royally pissed. The Sue who 

dared to be more powerful then Xavier, is going down…

Sally's A/N: Boy, this Sue has it coming. It's a pity it's Cille's turn to do the killing. Anyways, let's get started.

***

"It's classy," Sally commented, admiring the 'hunt-trophy' on the wall. Tabitha's head, nailed onto a beautiful crafted 

wooden plate. "I never liked when people had moose-heads like this, but this is lovely."

Her newly-dyed-redheaded partner smiled broadly, "No reason to throw such a token away, it's better to make use of 

it."

**[Beep]**

Sally groaned, rolling her eyes, "Again?"

"That's life," Cille said, walking to the consol, "Oh no."

Sally came up behind her, and took in the Words, "Wow, this is bad. How does she get off being more powerful then Xavier??"

"She needs to die a very messy death. So, kid, which mutant's powers do you suggest for this mission?"

Sally smiled brightly, "I've been meaning to run this idea through with you. One of us takes Magneto's power, then we inject her with iron, and the Magneto wanna-be pull it out again." She smirked evilly, "Like in the movie."

"Nice idea, but I think we'll meet Sues worse then this, let's save it for then," Cille decided, "Plus, I'm killing girl, and I don't like being Magneto.  And Sue is almighty "physic" after all."

"She's a drug??" 

The redhead nodded, "Apparently. Just like Jean is, according to Sue." She tapped some bottoms, "I'm going with Pyro," she informed her partner. Sally swore she heard her partner mutter 'Fry her good and proper' afterwards while she grabbed a lighter, but didn't feel like asking.

"Dips on Toad." 

Cille raised an eyebrow, "Like any sane person would object to that." 

Sally stuck out her tongue, then turned her attention back to the screen, "Do we go in when Sue makes her grand entrance."

"And miss all the charges we could pick up before? No way." A portal opened, "Let's go."

***

The two agents appeared in a shadowy and blurry world of some sort, "What's this?"

Cille smile reassuringly, "Storm's dream. I thought we'd start right at the beginning." Storm came running past the two girls, a bunch of shadows coming after her. Sally blinked in surprise, but Cille only sighed loudly.

One of the shadows started talking, "Please…hear me…" and took something resembling a form.

"It's talking, Merry, the shadow's talking," Sally joked in a Scottish accent.

_"What do you want?" Storm demanded._

"Don't talk to it Storm, don't encourage it," Sally continued, while Cille grinned slightly, "It's no good talking to shadows."

"Please…you are the only one now who can save her from him…Magneto…he will kill her to gain her power! Her strength! Protect her…do not…let him…find her…" it wailed.

"Especially shadows who are boring, clichéd, and forebodes the arrival of a Mary Sue," Cille lectured, and pulled her notepad out of her bag, "Cliché is going on the list. Magneto would drown in Mary Sues if we didn't kill them. What does he need them for anyway?"

"Torture??"

"That's what **we** want them for," the older agent said, producing her CAD, which she stuck between her knees, and started writing on her notebook, moving her mouth silently while doing so. Sally saw her forming the words 'charge list' with her lips, then added what Sally translated as 'Cliché'.

"Who is she?" demanded Storm. She was no longer filled with dread, but rather something like pity and regret for the poor things.

"Strom sure demands a lot," Sally commented. 

"She does," Cille confirmed, getting the CAD from between her knees, pointing it at Storm. [Ororo Munroe, aka Storm. Female mutant. Teacher. Canon. OOC 47.8 %] 

Sally snorted loudly to get her partners attention, and then pointed at the shadow. It was now showing all-wonderful Sue. "How original." The shadow proceeded to plea for help.

"Come on Storm," Cille muttered desperately, "Tell the shadow to go fuck itself, come on." It didn't appear like Storm was going for that option, unfortunately. Instead she kept on her 'poor you'-look. That seemed to piss off the mighty shadow.

_"Don't look at me or her with pity!" it screeched. "Now go! If you will not help us then you have only doomed yourself!" _

"It's rather rude," Sally commented.

Cille nodded, then bend over slightly, "Get ready, we're shifting." 

Right on cue the scene went to the kitchen of the Xavier Institute. Well, canon assumed so anyway, since people where having breakfast there. This resulted in a rather blurry version of the room, but nevertheless a kitchen, where Kitty said good morning to a pale (as pale as you can get when you're black) Storm.

Sally slowly jumped after Cille, looking around in awe as they sat down at the breakfast table (the canon characters simply ignored the agents' existing), "She didn't even say 'like'." 

Cille pointed her CAD at Kitty, "Only 18%. Well, it's easy writing a hyper person."

The young Lebanese suddenly squinted at the Words, "Do you see what I'm seeing, B1?"

"Don't call me by the name of a piece of fruit in a pyjamas," Cille warned, then nodded, "I do." She aimed the CAD at Jean Grey, and looked puzzled. Wordlessly she gave it to Sally. [Jean Grey. Female Mutant. TeacherStudentteacherstudentteatherstudentfishstudentcowteacher. OOC 26%]

"Interesting," Sally said, handing it back, "Why is she so in character then??"

"She just answers a question politely. Must be the teacher thing that freaking it out," Cille mused, hitting the CAD a few times. It didn't change. She turned back to Sally, pausing. "You're turning greenish."

Sally looked at her hand, "So it would appear." 

_"Has Cerebo picked anything up? Like a new mutant or something as of late?"_

The CAD in Cille's hand screeched. The canon characters didn't seem to notice. "What else would it pick up, you idiot? 82%, oh the horror. What the **hell** is 'Cerebo' anyway?"

"Sounds like a kind of soap. Maybe industrial." 

Storm told the crowd about her recent troubles, while Sally helped herself to a bowl of cereal.

"Did they ever consider letting Magneto have this one?"

Cille shook her head, "Sues are mostly for Xavier. Magneto is not strong enough to handle them in person."

"Neither is the Professor," Sally reminded her partner, crewing on a mouthful, "If he was strong enough, he would be able to see the illusion." 

"We are the only gifted ones," Cille said melancholically. 

_"Strange, just like that dream of that weird guy from your home in Africa," Kurt mused, hanging upside down from the chandelier._

The newly-turned-greenish girl flinched, adding more sugar to her meal, as Cille let out a stream of words that had to be rates R at least, then wrote with big, fat letters 'Kurt OOC'. "My pretty little Kurt," she whispered, blinking back fake tears. 

"There, there," Sally calmed her friend, "But honestly, Storm wouldn't consider Africa her home, would she? I mean, she hated it there..." she stated, waving her spoon around.

"Exactly." Cille looked up at the Words, "Off we go." Sally nodded, wiped her mouth and put the bowl in the sink as they passed it.

They had just left the kitchen, following Storm, when Cille saw something interesting out off the corner of her eye. Sally was jumping along, just like any frog or Toad for the matter. The older agent stopped, grinning broadly. Sally appeared to realise what she was doing, and abruptly straightened up, "What?"

"Nothing, Froggy." 

"If you must know, moving this way seems much more comfortable then walking, with these leg-muscles," Sally snapped, jumping after Storm.   

"Whatever," Cille smiled, following. She didn't even notice that she was playing with her lighter constantly. 

***

Cille bumped into Sally with a 'umf', "What are you...? Oh."

Sally stared in horror, "It's... it's...horrible. Not pretty at all!!"

"It's not Cerebro as we know it, Movie-Cerebro, remember that. This is 'Cerebo'. One might add that it's kinda rusty." Cille was right, the new 'Cerebo'  looked a bit like the one Stryker built in the second movie, only it was even uglier. "By the way, do they need anymore mutants?"

"No more Sues," Sally whimpered, feeling greatly disappointed by the state of her favourite room in the mansion.

_"Anything?" Storm asked, hope rising in her voice, but was disappointed when she discovered that there was no signal showing on the map, yet._

"Why is there a map?" Sally asked.

"I don't now. There is in the Evolution continuum."

"I like the movie-version better," Sally decided, smiling, "It's shiny."

The older agent gave her a glance out of the corner of her eye, "This doesn't give you motion-sickness. Trust me, Movie-Cerebro can have that effect on some people. By the way, how come there's no signals at all on the map?? There's lots of other mutants then just Sue."

"But today only Sue will be showing on the map," Sally said in a toddler-voice.  

 Cille shrugged, "That kinda screws up the whole Cerebro-idea, but hey, I can charge her on that." She did so. 

_"Hello Storm," Logan said curtly. He nodded to her and then turned back to Cerebo. _

"Logan isn't nice," Sally said, glaring at the mutant.

"He's almost in character, for this continuum anyway."

The two of them were silent while the great Xavier spoke. Well, there was scribbling...__

"Bad punctuation, forgot a word, but both Logan and the Professor has tolerable characterization for now," Cille informed her partner in a professional voice.

"How come Xavier doesn't read her mind, and gets the dream for there? Would be both faster, easier and better then having Storm retell the whole thing."

Cille sent her partner a lopsided grin, "What did I tell you about Sues and logic? It's like water and oil."

***

A scream pierced the beach, as two PPC agents was dropped in Hawaii, without any warning. Sally spit out the sand in her mouth, swearing in French, Lebanese and small pieces of German, "Verdammt!!"

"Very nice," Cille commented, brushing sand from her pants, "This is just bloody brilliant."  

"Why the hell are we...?" Sally stopped talking, as Alex walked by with his surfboard. "Lookie there."

"A bishounen," Cille acknowledged, "Hey, it's Alex. Then this must be Hawaii. Even though the author never thought to tell us."  

Sally shook her hair around, trying to get the sand out, "Let me guess, he'll lead us to Sue?"

"What do you think?" Cille asked, following the blond boy as he started leaving the beach. Sally groaned, and started jumping after her partner. 

Alex calmly walked on his way home while the Words crammed into a giant paragraph, babbling on in great length. Finally something happened, which was lucky; Sally was getting sore feet from all the walking. Alex stopped and looked down a side alley, upon hearing the famous Sue-In-Distress sound. 

Cille sent the Canon Character a pleading look, "Don't do it Alex, come on fight it," 

"Move right along, forget about the whole thing," Sally urged the boy. But as usual, Mary Sue won and Alex went to investigate. 

_In the center of a large ring of guys, all buffed and many carrying chains and whips, stood a lone girl, her arm bleeding and flecks of the sticky substance stained her lips and dribbled down her chin._

"Someone got to her before us," Sally joked, making her partner smile.

The buff guys tried fighting the Sue, but she took the opportunity to show off her amazing fighting skills, and kicking their arses.

Cille rolled her eyes dramatically, "What a Sue."

_They all began to tremble and backed away, grabbing their friends and vanished._

"When did baddies turn to cowards? Why wasn't I informed?" 

Sally shrugged, "Baddies are not what they used to be."

Sue spotted a not-to-well hidden Alex, and suddenly she was so weak and helpless she fell to her knees.

"Typical Sue," Cille hissed, writing on the charge list, "All mighty one second, ready to be saved the next. Pathetic."

_"You okay?" Alex asked. Completely forgetting to hide he came up to the girl._

"Alex, you should have stayed at home today," Sally commented. "She'll kill your character." When Sue started doing the typical 'I don't want help, I'm an independent and angsty woman' routine, Sally hid her face in her hands. "God."

As Alex invited Sue home with him, Cille suddenly grinned/grimaced, "Break a' canon."  

"Since when is Alex and Scott's mother alive?"

Cille nodded, following Sue and Alex as they started walking, "If she wanted it to work, she should have said step-mother. Or adoptive-mother. Now she just gave me the canon-breaker I need." The assassin shook her head as Sue glared at the sweet Alex-boy. "Well, if she hadn't done that, being more powerful then Xavier would have done the trick." 

A house appeared in front of then, out of thin air. "That was fast."

"Yeah," Cille agreed, and entered right after Alex, "Plot-hole."

The two agents installed themselves in Alex's room, thankful that the author decided to skip the following part quickly. Sue was all patched up and put on the couch downstairs in a total of three minutes and forty-two seconds. It was in these seconds, Sally got to thinking, "Why the hell doesn't she show on Cerebro?"

Cille snorted, flipping through a magazine she found on Alex's desk, "I dunno. It doesn't say anywhere. Let's charge her on that." She started braiding some purple yarn from her pocket into a lock of her hair.

"Do we show on Cerebro?" Sally asked curiously.

Cille smiled suddenly, "Actually I checked once, and yes we do."

Sally grinned broadly, "Cool." She took her eyes off her partner as Alex left the room, "He's gonna call Scott now," She informed no one in particular.

"Should we move?"

Sally shook her head, "Nah. I mean, it's easy to sum up. Alex tells his bro that a girl is very mutant-y, and Scott says he should keep an eye on the mutant-y girl."  __

"Nice summary, very accurate."

"Thank you," Sally smiled a fake smile, "Cille?"

Cille threw the magazine back on the desk, "Yes?"

A sly smile, "Can you do the fire thing? I wanna see."

The older agent  beamed, and pulled out her lighter. Flicking it on with the right hand, she pulled the flame free and over in her left, where she formed it as a tiny Nightcrawler. "Neat," Sally acknowledged, "See me." She swiped out her tongue, catching a housefly that was buzzing around by the window. Just as Cille cowered her mouth with her hand, Sally seemed to realise what she had just done and hopped out the room very quickly. What Cille assumed to be the toilet door slammed loudly.

"Alex's 'Mom' better buy more toothpaste," the agent muttered, shivering from the thought of chewing a fly.

***

Sally frowned, and looked back over her shoulder, "Was I out there that long?"

"No," Cille answered, getting up from Alex's computer, "It became next morning rather suddenly, trust me, I know. When the sun suddenly pops in on you, it leaves a mental scar. Let's go downstairs. Sue is being Sue-ish."

Cille's prediction was true. While the two agents hid in the kitchen, Sue was talking to a blurry figure that appeared to be Alex's mom. "Would it kill her to say 'adoptive'?"

Sally sighed deeply, and peeked at Sues wound just as Alex's mom did, "It's gone. She is a fast healer."

"And a physic."

Sally had to cower her mouth to keep from laughing, "Oh yeah, we can't forget that. Eh, Cille?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me never to mix purple and red."

"Very funny, it was the only yarn I had in my pocket," the older agent defended her new hairdo. "Her own stupidity is making her drowsy," she then remarked. 

"Oh look at her. Eyes boring into that nice lady's soul," Sally tsk'ed. "Cute name for a Sue, Rune"

 "Always in ruin." Cille quoted, "Name for angst purpose, check." The agent smirked as Rune was briefly replaced with a masculine version of herself, "That's just bad grammar."

The air seemed to ripple and both Sue and Alex's (adoptive) mom went poof. 

_"Mom! I'm home!" _

"Alex is home, darling," Sally said in a motherly voice.

"Make him take out the trash," Cille replied in a more butch voice, "By that I mean the Rune-chick."

The two agents joined the canon mutant in the kitchen, "It would appear that Sue is out the house," Cille observed, reading the note from Alex's 'mother'. "Of course not for more then ten second, she is the leading character after all." Sally nodded gravely. 

Right on the ten seconds mark, Sue and Alex's shouldn't-exist-mother entered the house. Alex went into drool-mode. "Hey, we forgot this," Sally muttered, taking out her CAD. "Oh, only 32%. How come??"

"Alex is nice, I don't suppose he would just hate anyone, even if they were a Mary Sue, as quickly as we do," Cille mused. She looked up at the Words, grimacing, "Oh dear God."

The author spent the next 10 lines/210 words babbling about how Sue looked. Only the most important stuff of course. Her hair in great detail, face, beautiful like and Elf of course, and five lines about her clothing, right down to which colour her sandals were. Both agent cringed. 

_"Dear, how was school?" asked his mother, shaking him from his trance._

"38%," Sally said, not pointing the CAD away from Alex.

"Point it at Sue will you? We have to get this, it's in the book."

Sally did as told, then showed the devise to her partner, [Rune. Female Mutant. Non Canon. Mary Sue] "See, she is a Sue."

_"What? Oh, fine," he said and looked at his math homework a look of disgust crossing his face. "But this math – it makes my head hurt and Dad isn't here so I'll do it later."_

The CAD started smoking again, just a little bit. "Jesus, does the words 'died in air crash' mean anything to her?"

Sally snorted, "If not, couldn't she learn the meaning and use of the word 'adopted'?" Alex had a teenage-freak out. Sally smiled briefly, "64%. Character rupture."

"Oh look, isn't it cute?" Cille drawled, a look of distaste on her face, "She's helping little Alex with his homework."

The greenish agent glared at the Sue before jumping toward the stairs, "No it's not."

"Oh come on," Cille joked, and got out he way so that the upset Alex could pass her, "Cute like a little bunny." 

***

_"So, people call you Rune?" asked Charles of the girl a few hours later, Alex and his mom sitting a little bit behind him as they interviewed the girl._

The two agents were comfortably placed behind Scott, where Sally had adopted the charge list, since she would be charging and everything.

In short, Sue was being extremely impolite and mean, while Xavier was being overly nice, considering Sue's behaviour. "It's evil."

"And you'll kill it," Sally reminded her partner, "Is Jean out of character?"

Cille pointed the CAD at the fellow redhead, "No. Damn her general nice-ness."

_Rune regarded her with chilling eyes. "You are physic, yes?"_

Sally choked on her giggle, "Sure she is. Her middle name is codeine."

"Psychic, you idiot, she's psychic," Cille sighed irritated, "How hard can it be?"

Sue went on flashing her mind probing powers for a bit, while Sally wrote something on the charge list. Cille looked up at the Words, and got to her feet. "Here it comes now.!

_Rune's eyes flew open and became mere slits and Professor X was thrown back into the wall so far that it cracked. Rune sprang to her feet like a cat and watched him, her veins pounding in her neck, eyes those slits staring at him, flaring with the indignity of what he had done._

"Go," Cille ordered in a growl. 

Sally nodded shortly, and jumped to Xavier's side, "Hi Charles, how are you?" She asked politely, helping him back in his wheelchair. 

Rune seemed frozen in place, "Who are..."

"Oh shut your hole," Cille snarled getting in front of both Sally and Xavier. She clicked her lighter on and made a nice little ball of fire in her hand. 

Sally had gotten Xavier back in the wheelchair, and rolled him back to the other canon character, who all seemed frozen in place. Shock most likely. The Lebanese cleared her throat, and took a deep breath, "On behalf of the PPC, we charge you on the following; Being cliché, making Storm, Kurt and Alex act out of character, spelling Cerebro wrong, making Storm consider Africa her home, having bad punctuation and grammar screwing up the whole Cerebro idea and purpose actually." Sally took a new breath, "Throwing us down in a beach on Hawaii all the sudden, there by getting sand in my hair, being all powerful and mean, then becoming weak for the pity-factor, giving Alex a mother and a farther even though their dead, you should have said adopted." Another intake of breath, "Constantly mixing up physic and psychic, having a name for angst purpose, being rude, having too many powers and finally, and worst; BEING MORE POWERFUL THEN XAVIER!!" Last part was shouted rather loudly.

"We find you guilty and condemn you to death," Cille smirked, stepping up to the Sue, "Any last, non-sappy words?"

It went really fast. Suddenly Cille found herself thrown against the wall by some invisible force, and Sue was advancing on her, eyes glinting. Cille gulped and felt around, but her lighter was nowhere to be found.

SPLAT! Sue screeched loudly and her hands went to her now slime-cowered face. Sally smiled smugly, and threw the lighter at her partner. Cille was up in a beat, "I guess not. Fry bitch!!" Rune did quite a lot of screaming while she burned. 

Canon stood still for a few seconds, then all the canon characters disappeared off to where they were supposed to be. Cille kicked the fried Sue's body, and slumbered against the wall, "God. I've never almost gotten killed before."

"You weren't almost killed," Sally grinned, jumping over, "I was here to save you the whole time."

Cille smiled evilly at her friend, "Gee that makes me feel so much better." 

Sally got up, "It should. Now, where do we dump the body?" 

"Well, she was so into Magneto getting his hands on her, we might send him a present." Cille opened a portal and Sally helped her drag the body into Day of Reckoning. 

"Look, it's Kurt," Sally observed. 

Cille sighed in adoration as her blue fuzzy elf checked the empty metal thingies. As soon as he teleported out of there, the two agents threw Rune's burned body into the nearest one. "Hopefully it wasn't Pyro's," Sally mused when they were going back through a new portal, "That would be too ironic."

Cille laughed loudly, "Nah, I think it was Sabertoot 's. He might snack on her, if he's feeling hungry."

"Ew," Sally said shortly.

"You ate a fly for lunch, Girlfriend," Cille reminded her.

Sally hit her partners arm sharply as they appeared back at headquarters, "Never mention it. Ever again."

Cille smiled devilish, "I won't. Promise."

***

Aiwendil's A/N: The End. You might now send us the stories you'd like the PPC to handle. Please do, just review and tell us, name and title.

Sally's A/N: What she said. Boy, this Sue was tough, but no one gets to be better then Professor X. Not on my watch!!


End file.
